Roxy’s Overachiever Circle: When Your Horse Mirrors Your Over-Efforting

Roxy’s Overachiever Circle: When Your Horse Mirrors Your Over-Efforting

The Circle That Was Too Much

It was a lazy Sunday.
Bareback. Bridleless.
The kind of morning where you think nothing could go wrong.

Roxy, my Shire mare, and I were just playing in the arena. I asked her for a big, sweeping half-arena circle.
Instead, she gave me the tightest, smallest 10-meter circle her big body could manage.

I nearly fell off. I laughed.

But here’s the thing — it wasn’t a “mistake.”

The Cue Beneath the Cue

We came around again.
I softened my leg. Loosened my seat.
She still gave me the small circle.

And that’s when it hit me:
She was mirroring me.

Not my cue… but my state of being.
The part of me that over-efforts. That tries too hard.
The part that believes I need to do more than enough to be enough.

It’s a pattern I know well in my business, relationships, and even self-care.
Always pushing. Always over-delivering. Even when it’s not asked for.

The Psychology Behind the Mirror

Horses are experts in limbic resonance — the emotional connection where nervous systems sync.
When you’re tense, driven, or over-efforting, your horse feels it in your posture, breath, and micro-movements.

Carl Jung might say this was my “shadow” — my compulsion to prove my worth — showing itself in the arena.
Joe Dispenza would point out that our bodies can become chemically addicted to overachievement, pumping out dopamine and adrenaline in response to “doing more.”

Roxy wasn’t misbehaving.
She was showing me my own overdrive mode… and inviting me to soften.

Practical Tips to Notice This in Your Rides

1. Check Your Breath Before You Cue – If you’re holding your breath, your horse will read that as tension or urgency.

2. Soften Your Ask – Cue with 50% of the pressure you think you need, then notice the response.

3. Observe Patterns – Does your horse often “overdo” or “underdo” your cues? It might reflect your emotional tone.

4. Film Yourself – Video often reveals subtle physical tension you don’t notice in the moment.

Journaling Questions

• Where else in my life do I push harder than necessary?

• What would happen if I trusted that “less” could be enough?

• How do I feel when I don’t over-deliver?