This Isn’t the Wrong Horse—It’s the Right Lesson

(And why the 95% of the work you’re avoiding is the part that changes everything.)

If you feel like your horse is "too much" for you…

If you wonder if you made a mistake buying this one…

If you’ve already Googled “should I sell my horse?” and you’re 3 bad rides away from posting in a sales group…

Pause.
Just for a moment.
Before you act. Before you pass them on. Before you repeat the cycle.

Because maybe this isn’t the wrong horse.
Maybe it’s the right lesson.

And if you ignore it now…
You’ll meet it again.
In the next horse.
The next relationship.
The next meltdown at work or triggered argument at home.

Because that’s how patterns work.
That’s how the subconscious works.
And horses? They speak fluent subconscious.

Let’s talk about mirrors.

Your horse is not here to obey.
They are here to reflect.

That’s why horse work is 95% mindset and only 5% method.
You can change your halter. Your saddle. Your cues. Your supplements.
But if you don’t change your state, nothing else sticks.

Your horse will always bring you back to what’s unresolved inside.

They don’t read your training manual — they read your nervous system.

And this isn’t just spiritual fluff.
It’s biology.

The Science Behind the Mirror

• Studies show horses can detect your heart rate from up to 4 feet away without seeing or hearing you (Gehrke et al., 2011).

• They can sense micro-expressions and changes in your facial muscles even if you’re not consciously aware of them (Smith et al., 2016).

• In 2020, researchers found that horses not only respond to your emotional state but can remember your emotional expressions hours after the fact — and change their behavior accordingly (Proops et al., 2020).

That means your tension, your frustration, your pressure to “get it right” — your horse isn’t just reacting.
They’re reflecting.

Every resistance is feedback.
Every shutdown is a signal.
Every “bad ride” is a breadcrumb.

Back to you.

"But I’m not good enough for this horse."

I hear this from so many of my clients.

But what if I told you your horse chose you?
That your energy drew them in — not because you were broken, but because you were ready.

Ready for the lesson.
Ready for the mirror.
Ready to grow.

Because what you resist… will persist.
And what you avoid now… will circle back again.

So the real question isn’t: “Is this the right horse for me?”
It’s: “What is this horse here to teach me?”

So, if you’re struggling with your horse, start here:

1. Do less. Watch more.

Let go of the need to fix something. Spend a week just observing. You’ll learn more in silence than in drills.

2. Regulate yourself.

Your nervous system is the blueprint for your horse’s behavior. Before you train them, settle you. Breathwork. Journaling. Walking meditation. Whatever gets you back to neutral.

3. Ask better questions.

Not “Why won’t my horse listen?” but “What’s my horse showing me?”
Not “How do I stop this behavior?” but “What feeling is behind this?”

Because behavior is the symptom.
But your state is the cause.

Training doesn’t start in the arena. It starts in your inner world.

And maybe this moment — the one where you feel like giving up — is the exact place where the real work begins.

The uncomfortable, beautiful, messy work of seeing yourself clearly.
The kind of work that changes you — and your horse — forever.

💬 If this hits home…

👇 I highly encourage you to register for my upcoming webinar: REGISTER

🪞Your Horse, Your Mirror — Where I teach you how to decode the messages your horse is trying to reflect back at you and how to use them to heal, connect, and transform.

📘 Or if you’re ready to begin this journey today, grab my e-book here — it's the first step toward rewriting your story with your horse.

👕 Want to wear the message? Grab the new “95% Mindset / 5% Method” shirt here and remind yourself daily where real transformation begins.