Your Horse Is Your Mirror: It’s Not the Training — It’s What’s Underneath It

Your Horse Is Your Mirror: It’s Not the Training — It’s What’s Underneath It

Some people think they need a new method.
Others think they need a new horse.

Most of the time, what they really need is a new way of looking at themselves.

The Day Sławny “Turned Off”

I had a new client come for her first lesson on my horse, Mr. Ponycakes (Sławny).
She was clearly experienced.
Beautiful posture.
Balanced seat.
Soft hands.

But something was off.
No matter what she did — leg cues, gentle rein aids — Sławny just… wouldn’t walk forward.

I even wondered if my horse was feeling sick.
So I called them into the center.

On instinct, I asked her a question I’d never asked a client before:
"What do you see in me that you like?"

She smiled through a little hesitation.
"I like your energy."

I told her: “The only reason you see it in me is because you have it in you.”
Her face shifted.
She shook her head.
"No… I can’t. I don’t have that energy. It’s not possible with my legs.”

It turned out, years ago, a friend had bullied her — telling her that her legs were fat.
Even though her legs were long and lean, she’d carried that wound ever since.
She hated her legs.
Disconnected from them.

And that explained everything.

Sławny wasn’t ignoring her.
He was mirroring her.
If she didn’t want to be connected to her own legs… why should he connect to them?

As she spoke, Sławny cocked a hind leg, dropped his head, softened his eyes, and practically dozed off — a sure sign we were getting to the truth.

For the next 45 minutes, she cried.
She released.
She reconnected.

And when she climbed back on, she didn’t need to change her method.
She changed her relationship to herself.
And Sławny walked forward without hesitation.

Why This Happens

Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Your horse doesn’t just respond to the cue.
They respond to the energy behind the cue.

If you’re carrying unspoken shame, frustration, or fear — they feel it.
It’s not “woo woo,” it’s biology.

Horses are prey animals with highly attuned nervous systems. They read heart rate, muscle tension, breath patterns, and micro-expressions — often before we’re even aware of what we’re feeling.

So yes, you can learn every method in the book.
You can watch all the YouTube tutorials.
But if what’s underneath your training is resistance, self-doubt, or disconnection…
Your horse will mirror that back.

The Emotional Attachment Under the Training

Joe Dispenza teaches that our body becomes addicted to the emotional states we live in — whether it’s stress, shame, or joy.

If you’ve unconsciously paired your cues with an emotion your horse doesn’t want to join in on (like frustration or tension), your method will fail, even if it’s “correct.”

Flip it.
Pair your cues with self-connection, calm focus, and openness.
Suddenly, the same method will work differently — because you are different.

The Takeaway

Your horse isn’t trying to frustrate you.
They’re showing you something you haven’t yet seen in yourself.

The question is: will you see it as a problem to fix?
Or as a mirror to learn from?

If you want to go deeper into this — and learn how to turn moments of resistance into breakthroughs — send me a message for Your Horse, Your Mirror..

You might discover that your next breakthrough with your horse… starts with you.